He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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