Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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