yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
