butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
