I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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