So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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