when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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