i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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