don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
