I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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