I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize