It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
