I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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