"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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