This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
