I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
