Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize