also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
