While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I think I just sharted jello shots
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize