Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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