new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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