I need help removing her.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
