Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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