Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
