what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
