A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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