You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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