I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
