I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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