Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
