He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
do nipples grow back?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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