I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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