She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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