Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
