i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
