I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
