there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize