hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
