you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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