when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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