Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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