Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
