Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
