WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
