Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
