In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
