Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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