You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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