i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
