My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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