On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You can't special order awesome
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
