I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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