Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
please don't ironically join a cult
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