Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
